Monday, 19 December 2005

Cheese Round-up part 2

You may have been led to believe this is the second part of the cheese reviews. We can now confirm this is the case.

Still sampling Tesco's 3 for £3 cheese offerings, the subject of this study is Cheshire cheese. Cheshire, like other regional cheeses with a name of the place where it is made, is made in Cheshire. Of course Cheshire is a place, a place not too far away from Wales, and not too far away from Manchester.
It could be said that Cheshire cheese, which comes in 3 colours, is less salty than Caerphilly, and maybe even less crumbly in texture. Tesco apply a rating of '2'.
So to conclude:
Grated on hot food melt factor: 5/10 - Still far from adequate
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 4/10 - Barely an improvement on Caerphilly

Saturday, 3 December 2005

The Nights Templar Cheese Round-Up

Welcome to a new section of the weblog, the cheese round up. Fortunately for you poor souls we are now providing expert cheese reviews.
As the picture suggests, this week we've been sampling one of the Tesco "buy 3 for £3" range. Caerphilly is located in Southern Wales 10 miles from Cardiff, we believe cheese to be their only claim to fame. As Tesco advise, this cheese scores a 3 on their tangy rating. Tangy is not a word we have had much experience with, especially in relative terms; Tango was once celebrated to have a tangy orange taste but we feel that is not appropriate in a cheese arena. Many a night could be spent with a block of cheese and a knife, as we're sure readers would agree. So an important test with any cheese is, can it be enjoyed in a late night cheese-block-knife scenario.
Unable to keep you in suspense for any longer, the findings shall be presented.
Grated on hot food melt factor: 4/10
Knife-block enjoyment rating: (A rather disappointing) 3/10 - Too dry and salty.

Friday, 2 December 2005


Although we at Nights Templar cannot support or deny allegations that the NME is a corrupt, money grabbing, commerical machine, we can point to this article in The Guardian.


Thursday, 1 December 2005

Top 8 Neighbours women

Instead of working, I've yet again managed to find something to distract me. This is by far one of my most outstanding talents.
As a result of a recent conversation, I've decided to produce a list of the best Neighbours women to date, if you can think of any additions I've missed out, tell me and I'll consider them. More likely I won't, but still, give it a try.

So, in numerical order:

1. Sarah Beaumont
2. Beth Brennan
3. Lauren Carpenter
4. Catherine O’Brien
5. Annalise Hartman
6. Henry Ramsay
7. Anne Wilkinson
8. Susan Kennedy

Friday, 16 September 2005


I just posted a couple of parcels, not that unlike the ones featured in Postman Pat and it's quite chilly out. That's all I have to say.

Monday, 9 May 2005

Supersize Me pt.2

Just to report, in answer to Chris' comment, there were no apparent ill effects of eating an entire lettuce.
I have been eating a lot of cheese recently. Does that do anything?

Friday, 29 April 2005

Supersize me

I ate a whole lettuce tonight while watching 'Supersize me' on channel 4. It was to make up for the fact that I ate no vegetables with my meal. I think it took around an hour. I'll report any strange effects tomorrow.

Saturday, 12 March 2005

Douglas Hurd: "Are these my eyebrows?"

It has certainly been a trying time for former cabinet minister Douglas Hurd this week as he is now becoming unsure about the ownership of his eyebrows.
Lord Hurd was convinced that he was the owner of both his left, and right eyebrow; however, the introduction of recent EU legislation has left him in a state of confusion, and some suggest, despair

Tuesday, 8 March 2005

"Ask Condoleezza"

A new sensation is sweeping across school playgrounds and new media offices alike. Gone are the days when both children and adults would jest about phoning a friend; now when asked perplexing questions to which they don't know the answer, the little scamps simply reply, "Ask Condoleezza!" This is of course a reference to Condoleeza Rice, the newly appointed US Secretary of State. This is proving a serious problem for both teachers and managers, who are unable to command any sort of useful response from their students or employees. I myself recently encountered a similar problem. After asking a librarian where I could find the philatelic studies section, she just laughed and said, "Ask Condoleezza." Obviously I am left both without any books, and any hope. Commentators suggest this latest craze could leave the country in ruins.

Wednesday, 16 February 2005

[OLD SITE] It's late and I've been drinking...

This is one of the few, rare occasions where I'll write one of these whilst under the influence of alcohol. The only in fact, to date. Therefore you could say this is truly a ramble, a drunken one at that. I felt compelled to write this after looking at the TV schedule for the upcoming morning on BBC1, it's more than disappointing, but I'll look into that later. I've just come back from attending the university's 'Live Night' which is hosted at the student's union bar. It's 46 minutes past midnight, and it is fair to say I am edging towards being quite inebriated. As such, you should excuse the rambling nature of this short essay. The fantastic aspect of 'Live Nights', apparently previously given the moniker, 'Indie Night', is that you get a lot of cliques and scenesters. I am finding it hard to decide whether I have more distaste towards the RnB folk, or the fake circles of people who attend the alternative music nights.

Such an example of these cliques, are two young fellows I have met previously, but never really tempted to have a conversation with. They are at the height of cool, one of them permanently wearing a tiny scarf, tied in the townie fashion, and the other being a shorter, somehow more immature version. They are also at the height of fashion, obviously having consulted the style advisors from Topman.

Tonight I had the misfortune of talking to them, it was my own fault. I felt obliged to aid an acquaintance of mine, her friend couldn't get away from talking to the pair. I stepped in to give her friend an excuse to leave, and I started to re-kindle our forgotten relationship. Unfortunately, the little one perceived my slightly inebriated state to be of a higher degree than it actually is. He proceeded to insist that his name was 'Dave', thus outsmarting me. It was genius. Especially considering I know his name isn't Dave, or in fact David. I have to concede that I do not actually remember his name, I suppose I haven't found it that important to keep in the forefront of my mind. I do however know that isn't his name. Kudos to this young man, his clique status has obviously gone to his head, intoxicating him more than the pints of Worthingtons I was consuming tonight. Perhaps if I reminded him that true individualism isn't trying to look like the ever so popular 'indie' bands he spots on T4 on Sunday mornings, then he'd realise that he wasn't quite so special. Somehow I feel, my words would fall on deaf ears.

I must apologise, this passage is of a much more self indulgent nature than usual, but it will lead to my analysis of these little groups, and hopefully their eventual destruction in due course. Watch this space.