Sunday, 30 March 2003

[OLD SITE] Heinz Ravioli

I like ravioli, or should I say I did. I've always had the smaller cans of ravioli from Heinz as I've always believed they taste better, because they do. But recently I've noticed that the people from Heinz are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Oh yes, they may seem sweet and innocent, but this couldn't be further from the truth.

I hereby accuse Heinz of reducing the amount of ravioli and sauce in the afore mentioned tins by at least 5percent each year since I can remember eating it, so that's at least 11 years ish. Do the maths and you'll discover a frightening fact, yes, 5percent multiplied by 11 is quite a lot.

I intend to phone the appropriate customer careline and convey my disappointment. We'll have to wait for the outcome...hold on to your seats.

Wednesday, 26 March 2003

[OLD SITE] Garden Invaders

Since the new series of Garden Invaders has begun on BBC1 morning schedule, something startling has happened. Hold on to your seats as I tell you that the original presenter, can't remember his name, has been replaced by none other than Linford Christie. I'll give you a moment to collect your thoughts........

OK, Linford is a good man, no problem with him, won us some medals at the old 100 metre dash I think. However, I don't believe these accolades qualify him as a garden guy/gardener. I am still unsure whether his inhuman knowledge of plants and general agriculture which is present on the show is scripted.

The difference between Linford and the other guy, we'll call him Mr. I.Plant for now, is that Mr.Plant didn't allow an opportunity for this to cross my mind. I was always happy and secure thinking he knew as much as Mr.Alan Titchmarsh, give or take a few trees.
I have now discovered, in the last 30 seconds that Mr.Plant has a real name, and that name is Mark Evans. He presents a series called Dream Machine which is on Channel 5's primetime slot. If you could have a primetime slot on Channel 5...Is that a paradox?