Saturday, 12 March 2005

Douglas Hurd: "Are these my eyebrows?"

It has certainly been a trying time for former cabinet minister Douglas Hurd this week as he is now becoming unsure about the ownership of his eyebrows.
Lord Hurd was convinced that he was the owner of both his left, and right eyebrow; however, the introduction of recent EU legislation has left him in a state of confusion, and some suggest, despair

Tuesday, 8 March 2005

"Ask Condoleezza"

A new sensation is sweeping across school playgrounds and new media offices alike. Gone are the days when both children and adults would jest about phoning a friend; now when asked perplexing questions to which they don't know the answer, the little scamps simply reply, "Ask Condoleezza!" This is of course a reference to Condoleeza Rice, the newly appointed US Secretary of State. This is proving a serious problem for both teachers and managers, who are unable to command any sort of useful response from their students or employees. I myself recently encountered a similar problem. After asking a librarian where I could find the philatelic studies section, she just laughed and said, "Ask Condoleezza." Obviously I am left both without any books, and any hope. Commentators suggest this latest craze could leave the country in ruins.