Four cheese

William Shakespeare may have once written, "a cheese by any other name would smell as sweet."
That may well be the case, but there's a lot more to cheese than just smells.
The cheese in the dock today is the first branded sample we've tried, Joseph Heler's Double Gloucester. It's worth pointing out now that Double Gloucester is obviously twice as potent as Single Gloucester, we can only deal with this as veteran cheese tasters. Do not be surprised if the staff member at the till confirms the sale with their supervisor-this is just a precautionary procedure so do not feel offended.
The first taste after opening the pack is one of a certain joy. Initially a soft texture, with a mellow and creamy flavour, immediately followed by a soft bite of the cheeks, smaller than a mouse bite. Perhaps a vole with sponge teeth, very pleasant as we're sure you can imagine. Readers will be reassured to know each cheese from the Joseph Heler creamery is hand made, loving detail put into each and every one.
To end it all, we should say this is a cheese worthy of a creamy award.
Grated on hot food melt factor: 8/10 - Good on pasta/mince, great in omelettes
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 8/10 - A creamy spectacular, or cheesetacular

Cheesy Round Three

Welcome, welcome to the third part of the now almost regular cheese review.
Thank goodness Tesco stock such a wide range of cheese. Cheese, as everyone knows, is a pillar of society. So important is cheese, it actually formed part of the Benelux treaty agreed in 1944, Belgium actually stipulated cheese availability as a condition of signing.
Today's cheese is a mature Cheddar from Caledonia, or the north as it's sometimes known. Tesco describe the cheese as being firm with a sweet, rich flavour. We feel this is quite a careless statement; it is certainly firm, but rich and sweet is straying into the realms of fantasy. The boffins have also assigned a 'Rich/Creamy' rating of 3-4. Is this out of 5? Hard to say.
In conclusion, a good all-round cheese, certainly worth taking to a party with a nice bottle of white (wine).
Grated on hot food melt factor: 9/10 - Possibly the best we'll see in our lifetime, possibly.
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 7/10 - Superb, goes down easily.