Friday, 2 May 2003

[OLD SITE] Monkhouse's Disease

Ahh, Monkhouse's Disease, a sad tale (not to be confused with Parkinson's Disease). A funny thing happened to me the other day, I watched the hour long 'This is Your Life' special (23/04/03) - 'special' because it was an hour long. The lucky recipient of this prestigious 'award' was none other than Robert Monkhouse, or Bob to his friends. I don't really like Robert 'Bob' Monkhouse, yet I still watched this program which mercilessly stole an hour of my life.

Something I forgot to mention earlier is that watching the show itself wasn't the only funny thing that happened to me. While watching, an odd thing occurred. Around every 5-10 minutes or at anytime I felt it was appropriate I shouted the name 'MONKHOUSE!'. I guess it is a form of Monkhouse tourettes. I must say this happened in the same week I was going quite insane with the lack of contact with the outside world and people. Perhaps it is understandable I managed to watch this tele-visual extravaganza then. I watched some other TV after this then went to bed.

The next morning something strange happened. I awoke feeling a little peculiar, so I switched on my friend the television. What was on? None other than Robert 'Bob' Monkhouse's Wipeout. For some reason I was unable to move from my seat, and it wasn't due to glue or gravity. I found myself with a new respect for Mr.Monkhouse and was warming to him and his puns. I even smiled at the pre-scripted jokes he told when introducing his contestants..Turns out I had developed Monkhouse's disease!!! After consulting a body of doctors I have been advised never to watch Wipeout again, or to go near surfers. I guess I should have expected this after feeling overwhelmingly compelled to shout his name during his obituary-like TV show which also contained a red book. Beware, it could happen to anyone.

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