Four cheese

William Shakespeare may have once written, "a cheese by any other name would smell as sweet."
That may well be the case, but there's a lot more to cheese than just smells.
The cheese in the dock today is the first branded sample we've tried, Joseph Heler's Double Gloucester. It's worth pointing out now that Double Gloucester is obviously twice as potent as Single Gloucester, we can only deal with this as veteran cheese tasters. Do not be surprised if the staff member at the till confirms the sale with their supervisor-this is just a precautionary procedure so do not feel offended.
The first taste after opening the pack is one of a certain joy. Initially a soft texture, with a mellow and creamy flavour, immediately followed by a soft bite of the cheeks, smaller than a mouse bite. Perhaps a vole with sponge teeth, very pleasant as we're sure you can imagine. Readers will be reassured to know each cheese from the Joseph Heler creamery is hand made, loving detail put into each and every one.
To end it all, we should say this is a cheese worthy of a creamy award.
Grated on hot food melt factor: 8/10 - Good on pasta/mince, great in omelettes
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 8/10 - A creamy spectacular, or cheesetacular

Cheesy Round Three

Welcome, welcome to the third part of the now almost regular cheese review.
Thank goodness Tesco stock such a wide range of cheese. Cheese, as everyone knows, is a pillar of society. So important is cheese, it actually formed part of the Benelux treaty agreed in 1944, Belgium actually stipulated cheese availability as a condition of signing.
Today's cheese is a mature Cheddar from Caledonia, or the north as it's sometimes known. Tesco describe the cheese as being firm with a sweet, rich flavour. We feel this is quite a careless statement; it is certainly firm, but rich and sweet is straying into the realms of fantasy. The boffins have also assigned a 'Rich/Creamy' rating of 3-4. Is this out of 5? Hard to say.
In conclusion, a good all-round cheese, certainly worth taking to a party with a nice bottle of white (wine).
Grated on hot food melt factor: 9/10 - Possibly the best we'll see in our lifetime, possibly.
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 7/10 - Superb, goes down easily.

Cheese Round-up part 2

You may have been led to believe this is the second part of the cheese reviews. We can now confirm this is the case.

Still sampling Tesco's 3 for £3 cheese offerings, the subject of this study is Cheshire cheese. Cheshire, like other regional cheeses with a name of the place where it is made, is made in Cheshire. Of course Cheshire is a place, a place not too far away from Wales, and not too far away from Manchester.
It could be said that Cheshire cheese, which comes in 3 colours, is less salty than Caerphilly, and maybe even less crumbly in texture. Tesco apply a rating of '2'.
So to conclude:
Grated on hot food melt factor: 5/10 - Still far from adequate
Knife-block enjoyment rating: 4/10 - Barely an improvement on Caerphilly

The Nights Templar Cheese Round-Up

Welcome to a new section of the weblog, the cheese round up. Fortunately for you poor souls we are now providing expert cheese reviews.
As the picture suggests, this week we've been sampling one of the Tesco "buy 3 for £3" range. Caerphilly is located in Southern Wales 10 miles from Cardiff, we believe cheese to be their only claim to fame. As Tesco advise, this cheese scores a 3 on their tangy rating. Tangy is not a word we have had much experience with, especially in relative terms; Tango was once celebrated to have a tangy orange taste but we feel that is not appropriate in a cheese arena. Many a night could be spent with a block of cheese and a knife, as we're sure readers would agree. So an important test with any cheese is, can it be enjoyed in a late night cheese-block-knife scenario.
Unable to keep you in suspense for any longer, the findings shall be presented.
Grated on hot food melt factor: 4/10
Knife-block enjoyment rating: (A rather disappointing) 3/10 - Too dry and salty.

NME/Schmenemy

Although we at Nights Templar cannot support or deny allegations that the NME is a corrupt, money grabbing, commerical machine, we can point to this article in The Guardian.

Enjoy!

Top 8 Neighbours women

Instead of working, I've yet again managed to find something to distract me. This is by far one of my most outstanding talents.
As a result of a recent conversation, I've decided to produce a list of the best Neighbours women to date, if you can think of any additions I've missed out, tell me and I'll consider them. More likely I won't, but still, give it a try.

So, in numerical order:

1. Sarah Beaumont
2. Beth Brennan
3. Lauren Carpenter
4. Catherine O’Brien
5. Annalise Hartman
6. Henry Ramsay
7. Anne Wilkinson
8. Susan Kennedy